Life is fickle isn't it? You think that you want something, desire change, looking forward to something new. Yet when you stand on the edge of the unknown, or seriously soul-search, that fear creeps in. Change is scary. There are so many things out of control and I'm a bit of a control freak. Okay I admit it - a LOT of a control freak.
I'm in my thirties and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I enjoy being a mom, yet at the same time feel like there is more that God wants to use me to do. My boys are growing up so fast and the reality is that it might be time to soon pursue something professional again.
Being out of the office environment for a while makes me even wonder what I would do. I've done a lot of things over the years but in a very specific field which doesn't necessarily transition to other industries or companies.
I guess for now I'm gonna sit back and see where God leads. If He really desires something from my family, than He'll make that apparent. That and maybe I'll take one of those what are you good at tests... but I'm scared it might tell me nothing ;)
5 comments:
I STILL don't know what I want to do:(....
Been doing the same thing for twenty years...soon it'll be time for a change and I can't wait!!!
Sounds like you are in a similar situation to my wife, who has been a fulltime mom since our first was born nearly 21 years ago.
The problem is that by now you will be very good at all sorts of things, but the one thing you might not be good at is BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO. My wife certainly suffers from that and is dreading having to take orders from someone half her age.
This might be why there are so many women starting their own businesses these days!
I personally think that the "30's" are breeding grounds for mid life crisis'! (not that that is what you are having) But we are now at a point where it's time to grow up and think about saving for the future...we did the Mommy gig and what's next? I can totally relate to how you feel!
Personally, I love being in my 30s more than my 20s. I'm much more sure of myself, even if I don't always know where I'm going. (When do we, really?) If you are anything like me, this could be the feeling of not having something "big" going on to occupy your thoughts and give more structure to your time. Babies, check. Built house, mostly done, check. Now what? Maybe God does want you do to something as well as mother. Or maybe you are so used to doing something, that you need to enjoy what you already have without taking on something big right away?
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