At Just The Right Time

Ever have a conversation, read a story, hear a song, or listen to something that totally fits your need at the moment? One that really pegs you right where you are at - at that particular moment? It's one of those times that you say "that's just what I needed."

I had one of those days. I have to say that as we headed to church this morning (after an uneventful/easy prep time) I sipped on my coffee thinking about how tired I was and how many things I needed to accomplish. After enjoying the singing/worship time I settled in to hear a good message. It was good, as usual. But I battled tired eyes. If I could listen with my eyes closed, the fight wasn't so bad, but then I feared falling asleep. So the battle went on. Heard good things despite of myself.

I grabbed a cup of coffee, guzzled it down and headed into Bible study. Great, hubby picked the front row. What's up with that? Better not have sleepy eyes now. Pastor picks people to read verses for the group and goes down - you guessed it - the front row. Thanks Andy for picking the front row.

What I didn't expect and wasn't prepared for, were the words I needed to hear, the ones that challenged my complaints, provided answers, and gave so many reasons to be thankful.

It's been a rough last week breaking into the new routine of working lots, keeping up with kids, and Andy in school. I was worn and raw. Everything seemed hard and like too much work. I started a million things, and few were getting done. I found myself resenting the process "I" was having to go through, what "I" was losing out on, what "I" wanted that "I" wasn't getting...

There's that troublesome "I" again. "I" realized what a gift it is that I have 3 part-time jobs/projects. So many in MI don't have any job. "I" saw God providing for our needs through jobs, state health care for my kids, loan checks coming through, and so many people generously helping us with childcare/encouragement etc. "I" saw all the people that we were meeting, all the opportunities to form new relationships and share with them what God is doing in our lives. "I" saw that "I" was the problem -- not our situation. "I" can't do this on my own, and no one is asking me to. God has blessed me with so many willing to help and share this journey. God has promised that I'll never be alone, and He won't give me more than I can bear in His strength.

After church we splurged on Chinese for lunch with friends. It was a breathe of fresh air to do something fun, to connect with others. After an un-anticipated afternoon nap I was surprised with a knock at the door with Teresa standing on the other side. After prompting to stay for dinner - she agreed and we chatted in between kid interruptions, ate a great steak/mashed potato/beans/salad dinner. Kids played, discovered snakes, and before we knew it, it was 8:30. Had no idea where the evening had gone.

So now it's 2 AM and I'm still typing. The nap always does this too me. However, it's amazing how productive one can be in the silence of the night.

So here's to a new week, filled with potential and possibilities... and more importantly, purpose.

Search Me

This song from Jonah 33 has been making me think, digging deep...



SEARCH ME, KNOW ME
Search me, know me
Try me and see
Every worthless affection hidden in me
All I'm asking for is that You'd cleanse me, Lord

Create in me a heart that's clean
Conquer the power of secret shame
Come wash away the guilty stain of all my sin

Clothe me in robes of righteousness
Cover my nakedness with grace
All of my life before You now I humbly bring

An Open Letter to Retail Planners

I live in Michigan. If you aren't familiar with the climate, it is a bit unpredictable until the end of May. They are predicting frost still this week. But warmer days are still ahead. We get little glimpses of it even now. In preparation of the warmer days, I've started my quest to find proper footwear for my boys for the climates, places, and amount of dirt they will meet this summer.

For crying out loud - where the heck are all the sandals!!!!

Most stores are almost out of their summer sandals. What is left is either incredibly ugly, poorly made, or not in my boys size. Really? Summer hasn't even started. What's next? Am I going to have to push through the snow pants to find the few remaining summer items in June?

Yes, providing items as you head into a season is important. But kids change sizes frequently, often in mid season. Would be nice if there was something there to purchase.

Also, the sandal thing is an issue every year. I start looking for them earlier each year. Since I keep hearing that I'm not the only mom with this problem - maybe your retail outlets should consider stocking more.

I'm not a retail specialist, but maybe a view of the real world can help you better plan.

Running Just As Fast As We Can

Some days I feel like a gerbil on a wheel, running as fast as I can, and just not getting anywhere. This weekend isn't one of those. I've gotten LOTS accomplished and that feels good. Still doesn't look like a dent in the to-do list, but not thinking of it that way.

I did have my first bout with anxiety today in a long time. It was rather odd. Nothing major, just the familiar twinges and knots. Will keep an eye open on that.Yet it reminds me how long it has been that I haven't really had to think about that anymore.

I send you off with a "Happy Mother's Day" greeting. I am personally thankful for the mother who gave me life and the women who have mentored me and helped me develop as a mother myself.

UUGGGHHH!

Just realized a freelance project I've worked on and struggled with for awhile were all saved wrong! I now have 600+ images that I have to convert to a new format. Yuck.

Yes is the same project that caused my need to upgrade with Adobe and all the customer service issues with that. So much for this project being profitable. Still dollars coming in, but my hourly rate is going down the toilet.

So, I'm throwing the towel in and blogging. But I'm frustrated enough that I can't think of anything fun to write... so goodnight.

***************************
Next Day:
Found out the files are still usable and I don't have to redo 600+ images. YEAH! Good day.

Perspective

This was a much needed weekend to get my mind in order and get perspective about life. Why is the "woe is me" attitude so easy to slip into. Last week I started to get really overwhelmed and even a bit frustrated with life. I was working 3 part-time jobs + being a mom, doing church stuff, and dealing with sick kids. Andy was stressed out from the start of school and was home very little.

I was worried about Andy coping with the first week of the academy, that I guess I didn't stop to think what it would mean for me. I didn't do so well... until...

I worked at the greenhouse this weekend and REALLY enjoyed myself (other than my aching legs from standing on concrete that long). I stayed out late Saturday night chatting with a new friend and an old friend. It's amazing what shared experience means. I'm not the only one out there periodically pulling the temporary single mom thing. It's hard to adapt to, but realize, that it's only temporary. For so many others, this is there everyday reality with no end in sight.

Then I went to church. I sat there and soaked in truth. The songs, comments, message could have been specifically designed for me (amazing how God does that). I'm coming out refreshed, thankful that I have been able to pick up so many part-time jobs. There is endless possibilities to come from meeting new people along the way. I'm praying God will use me.

I've determine to spend less time thinking about the inconveniences, the imensity of the jobs, and fatigue. I'm gonna eat this elephant one bite at a time. I'm tired of trying to swallow the whole thing and choking.

Happy Monday and prayers/wishes for a productive week ahead.

Spring Firsts

I know it is spring because the garage sales signs are popping up EVERYWHERE. I'm an addict, and I'm willing to admit it.

Met up with a friend and spent most of the day pouring through other people's junk, or my undiscovered treasures. Was incredibly impressed with a college age girl minding the family sale. All the proceeds were going towards her service trip to Africa. They were going to pass out solar powered MP3 players with translations on it along with AIDS education. Was more than glad to spend my money there. Cute new shoes for me, stuffed cheetah for Ryan, sweater for Andy, and vital information getting into the ears of people who need it. Bonus!

Unfortunately I think I also got wind burn/cloud burn. If you aren't familiar with cloud burn, that's what I refer to when I get a sunburn through the clouds. Yes it happens when you are as fair skinned as I. Think today must have been a combination. My boys have a bit of the rosy cheeks going on too.

Here's to many happy trails on the garage sale circuit.

Mary, Mary Quite Contrary

"Mary, Mary, quite contrary - how does your garden grow?"

Well, my name isn't Mary, I'm often contrary, and last year my gardens were a flop! I take that back, my veggie garden was a flop, my flowers and herbs were okay. This year, we made the time to make some raised beds to try to make the gardens work this year.

My friend Kuckie got me started with the book Lasagna Gardening this winter. No, I'm not gonna grow pasta, etc. The book is about an organic layering method, no tilling, that leads to richer soil and less weeds. Let me tell you, I'm all about less work.

Trying to cut costs we tried to make this project as simple and recycled as possible. We still had the wood for the boxes left in the yard from other projects/housebuilding. I had months of newspapers set aside to recycle. I soaked them and laid them down for weed barrier. Then came my "organic" layers.

We live in the woods, so leaves were no problem. We've been burning brush for a year & heat our house with wood, so I had lots of ashes. Wood chips from having stumps ground down last year were pretty decompose already, so in they went too. Dug out piles of sand from run off problems last spring too. So we actually only bought a bale of peat (used far less than she called for), some garden lime (to go with the leaves), and rich top soil. Really needed more soil, but the budget is done and so are we.

We built a little box for Ryan to have his own garden. He's very excited. Ty could care less about the garden, but desperately wants to dig in the dirt. To keep him from digging up our gardens, we made him his own dirt box. Sand isn't nearly good enough. You can't get dirty enough in sand. We may regret this addition, but it sure keeps the boy busy. I'm thinking time is worth the mess.

I am however gonna start hosing the kid down and build a cloths line to dry off all the dirty messes. Can I just say mud puddles? The boy loves mud and water. Need I say more?The start of my seeds. They are now HUGE and it's too soon to plant them.

Ryan's garden

Imagine rows of lettuce, spinach, beans and mounds of zucchini, yellow squash, broccoli, carrots, nasturtium, tomatoes, cucumbers, marigolds, herbs, & more growing here!!

My resident dirt balls.

Adventures in Role Swaps

So, yesterday marked the beginning of a new adventure for us. Andy started the police academy. Hardly seems possible that it is here after MONTHS of planning, working, and applying. He came home one whipped guy. He said that PT was really rough. Three people were puking, some just stopped when they couldn't go any longer. He was just proud that he NEVER got yelled at during training. Guess that was rare for the setting. Proud that he made it and is still in one piece.

With the academy, he won't be working for 4+ months. So that's where the role swapping comes in. I've been trying to dig up freelance work and have a bunch of stuff breaking at the same time (way it always goes). That is in addition to the part-time web job I have weekly scheduled. And today I start with training at a local greenhouse. My friend's family runs it. Really nice place. Find out more later today. Now I just have to keep from spending my paychecks there.

Really trying to avoid childcare to keep costs down. But a few hours away at the greenhouse might be a nice break from home life. I know have a better understanding about how much the weight of bringing home the sole income can overwhelm someone. Especially in a commissioned salary structure. Makes me appreciate Andy's role all these years.

Here are a few shots from Andy's surprise going away party at work. Nice that it was actually a surprise. All the guys pitched in and bought him a pre-paid cell phone as a going away gift.

Completely caught off guard. I love it. Thanks for the phone guys!

Every future police officer needs donuts right?

The really yummy cake.

Since I was going out for the evening - I let the boys eat as much frosting as they wanted. Was nice to say "yes" for a change.

Women At Risk

I'm not one to jump on the bandwagon and endorse every cause that comes my way. I'd rather carefully select a few issues/organizations to champion and throw myself into.

I'm just becoming familiar with a great organization that I would encourage you to all take a look at... Women At Risk, International. My friend's mom works with this organization and I've heard "about it" from my friend for a while now. But today I got to hear first hand about their mission to fight the sexual oppression and trafficking of women/children around the world. There is SO MUCH that I didn't know. Why isn't this all over the news?

These fine people have a well rounded approach to helping those who have been or are at risk of human trafficking, oppressed, and silenced around the world. Not only are they saving women out of the most horrible circumstances, they are also empowering them through education, vocational training, and counsel - and finding ways to prevent/education/empower those at risk.

Take a look. There are ways to make a difference in the fight against this modern version of slavery.

An Open Letter to Adobe

Dear Customer Service @ Adobe.com...

Please let me take a moment and express how incredibly frustrating your system is for a normal person to use. Let me rephrase that - I work on websites, I'm pretty familiar with how to use it. If It doesn't work for me... pity the common user. Leaving me to regret the decision - I opted to download a copy of your new software several days ago.

* Yes, I have struggled for SEVERAL DAYS to download a program.
* Yes, I have contact Customer Service (insert snide laugh here) several times for help and receive half-hearted help, without bothering to look into what the heck is going on beyond try a Internet Explorer instead of Firefox, click this button. I actual had to ask "So in several hours after the program doesn't download, and I find that this doesn't fix the problem - what should I do?" and get the response "well, you'll just have to call again..." Does she not realize that this was already my third contact?
* Yes, I spent hours looking through online FAQ and getting bounced ALL over your fricken website to find how to even send a message.
* Yes, I am frustrated. I want my money back or a real disc from which to put your fricken program on my computer. I'd like to send you a bill for my time as well...

I'm sure that this letter will be once again be met with an automated response in which you tell me that my case is closed because you've helped "rectify" the situation.

Sincerely,
Disgruntled User

p.s. Please pass along my apologies to the Indian woman whom I hung up on my third contact. I'm sure it was her first day based on the time it took her to come up with her "remedies" for my problems at hand. My frustration must have been intimidating to her so that she forgot to let me speak and kept talking over me with the script in front of her, which was difficult to hear anyways with the 5+ other men speaking to other disgruntled users in the background.

New Blog

I've been inspired by other foodie sites to make my own food blog. I use to collaborate on a group recipe site that has been removed - so I'm motivated to make my own happen. If you are interested in following my food journeys, join me at Frugal Feasts.

Workin' Weekend

It was a beautiful weekend in Michigan. Warm weather (yeah for 70s), a rented skid steer loader, digging out tree stumps, getting rid of brush and yard junk, building raised garden beds, mulching, getting dirty, playing in the water, hanging out with jr high/sr high students, church, time with really dirty/tired boys, and SORE muscles.

Things are looking good, but lots more to do still. That's the way it always goes isn't it??? I'll post some pictures soon. Show off, I know...

It was a really nice weekend. Now, back to the inside of our house and the mess that it has become. Laundry day here I come. The excitement never ends around here.

Happy Monday ya'll.

Better Days

The sun is shining, it's warming up, my boys are in a good mood, and our dinner guests had to cancel for tonight. That means a good day with a lot less to get done.

No pity party today so I thought I'd share my favorite new salad concoction... feels like summer. Add chicken if you want a meal.

Strawberry Salad

3/4 c Almonds, chopped
1 T Sugar
1 lb Romaine, rinsed and torn
1 c Strawberries, sliced or chunked
1 c Chow Mein noodles
1/2 c Celery, finely chopped

DRESSING
1 T Toasted sesame seeds
1 T Poppy seeds
1/2 c White Sugar
2 t Minced onion
1/4 t Paprika
1 c White wine vinegar
1 t Cinnamon
2/3 c Canola oil
1 t Sesame oil

In a medium saucepan,cook and stir almonds until lightly toasted, add sugar and still constantly until candied. Spread on a plate to cool. Break up nuts when cooled.

In a large bowl, combine lettuce, almonds, strawberries, noodles, and celery.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the sesame seeds, poppy seeds, sugar, onion, paprika, vinegars, and oils. (makes enough for two salads - extra can be stored for another salad). Toss with salad just before serving.

Have Mercy

It was one of those days. The kind where you think that you might just jump out of your skin or lose your mind.

So here's my "Lord Have Mercy" list from the day...

• When my two year old falls on the floor and cries.


• When they are bickering about everything all day long.


• When their ears are turned off.


• When I start running out of discipline options - because I've used them all.


• When the day seems to creep by.


• When I get a cavity filled.


• When I spend money on my teeth that I'd rather spend on other things.


• When the truck's starter goes out.


• When I realize I complain too much.


• When I find myself frustrated and short, rather than teaching/instructing.


• When there isn't enough time to get it all done.


• When plans get canceled.


• When I worry more about what people think than what is important.


• When I stress about money when God ALWAYS provides.


• When I forget Your goodness, kindness, provision, and mercy.

Good thing His mercies are new every morning. Lord have mercy - cuz I need it.

Stupidity

It's like 12:30 AM and I'm completely wide awake. Maybe I should lay off the coffee after 9 PM... I'm really gonna regret this is about 6 hours.

This is a crazy busy week - mostly my own fault, but that's how I work. I'm trying to hit the spring cleaning this week and recapture my house from the tornado that hit the inside the last week or two. Part of this is because we have neighbors/company coming over this week. They are acquaintance/new friends and this is our first time having them over. I've never been in their house, but Andy has and talks about how incredibly clean it is, well decorated, pristine, etc. No pressure right.

So skip the reality, we're cleaning to impress. Once they get to know us, they'll find the real us. Until then, I'd like the first date to be impressive. ;) It's a good motivator to get stuff done. Like I have blank walls with nothing on them and it has bugged me for a long time, but not enough to take the plunge and do something about it. So I'm printing off some great nature shots to frame and calling it good. Also, I'm buying a couple of plate racks to display platters on the cabinets (which works cuz they are big and I don't have a good place to put them anyway).

It's suppose to be a beautiful and warm weekend coming up and makes me REALLY excited because it's our spruce up the outside weekend - bring on 2 yards or mulch, 3 yards of soil, boulders, a rented skid steer. We're trying to take care of erosion issues that have developed, sprucing up a couple of things, and getting the garden site ready to go.

I've got BIG plans for the garden this year. I've been researching, reading, and scheming about organic veggies and saving lots of money. Here's hoping it isn't a flop like last year. And here's hoping that I don't hate myself in July when I'm sick of dealing with it ;)

I'm gonna go try to sleep now. Hopefully sleep will catch me if I lay still enough.

Tired

It's late. I should be in bed. I'm incredibly tired. I just can't seem to get up and go to bed. There is SO much to do and SO much on my mind, that getting up the gumption to do anything seems like a lot of work.

Mental stress.

That's what I'm chalking it up too. I think the stress of Andy leaving work (2 wks from tomorrow) is really wearing on me more than I thought. It's not that I'm worrying about it all the time, really more that it leaves me with a large work load and I'm not sure how to eat the elephant. Yes I know - one bite at time. I get rather impatient with that process.

Also, it doesn't help that my nephew and niece from IN are here for the week and trying to fit in as much fun as possible in that time. They are fun kids, and it has been a great time to spend several days with them. Plus there were promises of things to do with the kids before plans started getting turned upside down.

Need to stop and take a breath (and get some sleep) to charge up for the weekend. Good Friday dinner with my family tomorrow. My niece's first birthday party on Sat. And than Easter services (praise team, special music, & teach Sunday School) followed by Andy's family festivities.

In the midst of the busy days ahead, I just don't want to lose focus on what it really means. God was gracious, sending His one and only son - taking the punishment for MY sins. When Jesus Christ rose from the dead, He broke the power of sin and death, making a way for me to have a relationship with Him and eternity in heaven. Don't deserve it. Can't earn it. Can't begin to appreciate the full extent of the gift.

May I wish you all a Good Friday, and a GREAT Sunday. Happy Easter friends.

Things About Heaven

Don't know why I was pondering this last night, but I was thinking about a few things that will be absent in Heaven that made me happy. Funny enough, may of them started with P. So here is a bit of future focusing alliteration.

THINGS THAT WILL NOT BE PRESENT IN HEAVEN
- pretension
- periods
- pantyhose
- purses
- payments
- problems & predicaments
- parenting process (my work will finally be done!)
- party poopers
- poopy diapers
- pain
- & SIN!!! (doesn't start with "P" but I find it most exciting)

Just something to think about this week as we celebrate Good Friday & Great Sunday (Easter). The best is yet to come.

Coming soon, pictures of how the boys have decorated our slider for Palm Sunday, Good Friday & Easter. I love their imagination and inspiration. Plus it covers up some of the mess they've made on the glass. Gives me another week before I have to clean it up :)

Getting Seedy

It's not really planting time yet, but I can hardly wait for Spring to bring it's warmth in MI. I cracked open by gardening books this weekend and started planning. I know that this is an ambitious list, and my garden last summer was a total FLOP. Starting from scratch this spring/summer and going to things right. Last year we threw things together last moment with 900 things still left to do with a new house. Well there is still 742 things left to to on the house and I'm going to forget about them and focus on a beautiful and productive garden this summer. Even trying a few more from seeds rather than plants...maybe.

I'm hoping for a bountiful harvest of produce to help offset a tighter budget over the summer and fall.

Broccoli

Cucumber

Green Beans

Green Peppers

Jalapenos

Lettuce

Spinach

Tomatoes

Yellow Squash

Zucchini

Rosemary

Thyme

Basil (can hardly wait for fresh pesto)

Cilantro

Parsley

Oregano

How about you? Any plans for gardens?

Spring Break In Michigan

Yes, most of my friends have packed up their vehicles and are headed south for sun and fun. Yes, in true Michigan fashion - it's suppose to snow this weekend and early next week. It's like adding insult to injury for those of us not traveling. Should be use to it by now, just ticks me off...

But in the spirit of spring, I started purging today. My hit list included the never ending laundry pile and the boys rooms. We seriously have enough books to start a small library. It's one of my splurges. I stalk the garage sales, inexpensive books from school sales, gifts, and a couple of memberships to the Children's Book of the Month Club. We've got a lot.

My boys really enjoy their books, and we use them frequently. The issue is that with that many - they end up everywhere and then they want a particular book at bedtime and the chore becomes finding it. So I organized that today and headed off to hit their closets. I've been slowly weeding out clothing they are outgrowing and stashing them on the shelf to pack up. I cleansed their closets of the items and brought them to my room to pack up during nap time (the one that never happened today) only to find out that my hubby buried all the clothing totes in storage downstairs when he helped "clean up" downstairs. No complaining. He helped. Now I just need his help to unbury it all.

Much accomplished and it felt good.

Then I had a dentist appointment. It's been a little over a year. I'm one of those every 6 months on the dot kind of girls. But with moving, sickness, shorted funds - we waited. Bad news. I have a cavity to fill PLUS I need to get a crown on a tooth I had a root canal done on 6+ years ago. Definitely not in the budget. Dentist said the crown could probably wait 6 months and he would grind down the tooth a little to lessen impact and chance of cracking. GREAT. That sounds like fun.

It's been a day. Good night, sleep tight - I'm going to brush and floss now...

Update

So, we've hit crunch time. In just 4 short weeks my husband is starting at the police academy. This means he will be in class/training/etc 5-7 days a week and 12-16 hrs/day (at least that's what they said in the intro meeting). After orientation next week, we'll have a better clue as to what reality will look like.

I'm at the point where I need to stop thinking/talking about the situation and start praying more about it. The more I think, the more I try to plan, the more I start to worry, and the less I get done. I was doing really well about all of this, but lately it just seems to be piling up.

There is just far more to do than there are hours in the day. I erased a bunch of DVR stuff last night because I know I'm just not going to get to it... More important stuff than TV...
- getting boys to understand Mom's work time
- setting boundaries that are healthy and maintainable
- getting enough sleep to keep going
- find routine that works for working at home
- eating better, the more I stress, the more crappy I eat
- working out relationships and processes for freelance work
- wishing I was vacationing with everyone else next week
- finding cost effective b'day presents (942 of them in Apr)
- Menuing to cut down grocery costs
- Keeping perspective by time with God
- etc...

So what am I doing - instead of getting stuff done right now, I'm blogging while sitting in front of WWIII also known as my living room, covered with toys, the washing machine needing to be re-run cuz I forgot there was a load in there, kitchen half cleaned up (can't ever seem to get that all the way done), oh - and I'm still in my pj's and haven't showered yet. It's 2:30 PM.

I'm off to do more research about health insurance options. At least I have a cup of coffee to go with it.

New Yummy Snack

Just invented a new fav snack.

Vanilla wafer + nutella + banana slice = YUM

this is a variation of another favorite

Vanilla wafer + cream cheese frosting + strawberry slice or
Vanilla wafer + fruit dip + fruit

I WANT SPRING

Spring is technically here, but not really. But I have Spring Fever bad. I want to play outside. I want to finish the landscaping that we didn't get to last year (without any money this year... yup, it will be fun).

Most of all, I want to get my gardens going. I really messed up my veggie garden last year, so I've got a lot of work ahead of me this year. Changing sites, raising beds, adding compost, etc. At least most of my herb garden worked. Can't wait to pick my own herbs outside instead of relying on dried from last summer (almost gone) or expensive/poor quality ones from the store.

I want to soak in the sunshine and play in the sprinkler with my boys while wearing off massive amounts of energy they have stored up and maybe a few pounds off of me.

I've got plans. Now I just need the weather to cooperate and to see the project through from start to finish.

Conspiracy

My boys saved up all the naughtiness that they didn't use yesterday for today. As good as yesterday was, today went the opposite direction. On top of totally not listening, disobeying, and making big messes... they were clumsy and abundant of the childhood silliness.

By the end of the day, I'm having a tough time distinguishing between disobedience and simple childish behavior. I know the strain of the day is leaving me short tempered and I now add to the issue. Here's praying for a good restful night for all of us and better attitudes tomorrow.

Anyone relate to this?

Mornings Like This

What a way to start the day...

My boys slept in to 8:45! That NEVER happens. I got to get a full 8 hours of sleep, wake up at my own speed (known to be slow), drink a fresh cup of coffee while reading my Bible, and snuggle with my boys as they woke up.

After that we played dominoes and did a big puzzle together. They played with legos and cars while I made my favorite pumpkin pancakes for breakfast. We used our cookie cutters to make shapes out of our pancakes.

What a blissful morning. Sigh.

Then the bickering started and fighting over toys. I'm back to reality, but the morning is still awesome and it's only 10:30.

New Day

Welcome to Monday.

It's a new day, a new week. You get to start from scratch. Today has no mistakes and disappointments in it (yet). I'm choosing to make the most of my day, my fresh start, this new week. What is done is done, and what is yet to be has not come. It's a beautiful spot to be in.

My Plans:
To Laugh
To Play
To do laundry (it will wait another day)
To wrestle little boys
To clean my cluttered house
To enjoy the sunshine
To savor naptime (if it happens)
To have a brief moment when the dishes are done
To spend time with Jesus
To be thankful for the gift of today...

**update on how I did today -- every monday should be like this.

Frustration

Since Andy is going back to school, we are losing our insurance. I spent a couple of hours this morning carefully filling out an on-line application for personal health care insurance (HSA). We had met with a local guy specializing in HSAs and were pretty happy with what we found out as far as coverage.

Now here is the thing, unlike group coverage, the insurance companies can deny you coverage as an individual. And they did. I just got an automated email reply saying that the underwriter review has declined both me and Ryan for coverage. I'm guessing it has to do with last year's pulmonary embolism and Ryan's peanut allergy.

SO there is a couple of hours I can't get back. There are other companies that we can still look at, but price/coverage isn't as good. Bummer and back to the drawing board. Wish things would just go right the first time. It would save me a lot of time and frustration.

Got to love the health care/insurance system. According to friends in Italy, it could be worse... It could be socialized/national health care... moving at the speed of a snail.

Always a bright side I guess.

Blah, Blah, Blah

That's what most days feel like for me lately. Blah. Get up, get stuff done, stay up too late getting stuff done, go to bed, get too little sleep, repeat...

That's part of the lack of blogging. Nothing blog worthy. I'm so tired that it seems like so much work to think of something to post. I'm tired enough I've taken a couple of naps lately. I NEVER NAP. It's just not in my skill set.

Still looking for more part-time work, trying to balance what is already on my plate, and find time to play in the sunshine while it lasts. Today was in the 60s and sunny. Wish it would stay, know that it won't. This is MI and it is only March. We've got a while to go still.

Got the boys outside, reconnecting with neighbors that we haven't seen much since the snow started flying (yes that is last year)...

Hope all is well for you. Miss interacting with you all, but it is what it is.

Interview

Andy had his interview for the police academy today and all went well. I'm not surprised, but definitely pleased. He has worked hard to get here. A letter confirming his acceptance should be here in the next week.

This is really happening.

Over the weekend we got our new ride - a 1997 Suburban. It's a big, load diesel truck - and a purplish burgundy at that. Our friends generously sold it to us a wonderful price. We now have transportation for school as well. Pieces are falling together.

I'm really tired. I've been working early mornings, late nights, and entertaining lots lately. I enjoy it, but by-golly, I could use a nap. Andy and I are joining friends for the Big Ten tournament this weekend and I am REALLY looking forward to down time. This tourney last year was the weekend before the pink eye/blood clots/moving week... ah the memories. Hoping for a better week next week following the tourney.

For the Love of It

Tonight we watched my brother's little girl and not-so-little boy. My nephew Alex isn't even a year old yet and is in 24 month clothing. He's big, and ADORABLE. This child gives the world's best hugs. He raps his little pudgy hand and arm around your next and squeezes while burying his head into your shoulder. I could hug that kid all day long.

My niece is 5 weeks younger than Ty. They are both highly independent. It is a love/hate relationship for sure. It's fun to see their similarities and differences. It's nice to have a girl around too. Totally don't know what to do with one, but sure is fun anyways.

Time change tonight. Always fun to see how it messes up the kids schedule for the next week or two.

Andy has his interview to get into the police academy on Tuesday. This is the last step. I'm excited, nervous, and confident -- all in one. Just one more step...

We also bought a suburban from friends this week. Their generosity is making this school transition so much easier. Andy is losing the company vehicle he's been using. This was one of the missing pieces that we were most concerned about.

It's just another example how God keeps providing every step of the way to make this all possible. I continue to be overwhelmed by God's goodness.

February in Pictures

It has been a wild and crazy February. Here's a sneak peek..

Ryan's Rescue Hero birthday cake - red velvet with Kuckie's Buttercream frosting

Present Time

Tyler fell in love with Ryan's toy chainsaw. Want to be like Dad.

Among the "interesting" presents is the dueling Western Joe... It's a target game with a toy six-shooter. Really...

My mom and nephew.

Rescue Heroes cupcakes for Ryan's first friends birthday party.

Wouldn't recommend red frosting.

Batter up - That was one tough pinata

More presents

The boys have lots of new stuff to play with and are actually playing together (that is in between fighting over the new stuff)

Time with cousins and Opa

Valentine's Day with my boys.

Love my boys.

Joining in the preschool field trip to Culvers.

Waiting for instructions.

Hangin with his girls
Ohio road trip with a stop to see my friend Carrie

Teresa packed up the whole scrapbook room for our trip to see Kuckie.

The staff couldn't believe the supply and organization.

Kuckie managed to get pages done while dreaming of Jeni's Ice Cream. Definite sweet dreams.

Kuckie and Sheri make a marvelous dinner for us. Chicken Scallopini

Sitting down for a tasty dinner.

Me, Sheri & Teresa

Getting ready to go to Trader Joe's

No one filled me in on this shot was a silly one.

Hopefully March brings a little breathing room. If you made it this far, I'm impressed.

Sin Sucks

I'm so tired of people's lives being destroyed by sin and selfishness. I'm frustrated at the pain I see others going through that could have been avoided. It's no wonder that families are being pulled apart, lives ruined, and hopes crushed.

When are we as a society going to realize what selfishness and dishonesty produces? When will we see that our actions will hurt far more than ourselves?

Don't get me wrong. WE ALL STRUGGLE with something. I'm gonna be the last one to throw a stone, cuz I've got more than enough to work on myself. I'm speaking to myself on this one as well.

My heart aches for friends who are at a lost of what to do next. I hurt along with those who have had their world turned upside down in a moment. I regret the careless words that slip from my lips and harm others.

Yet I am grateful that there is forgiveness and restoration. I find my hope in a God who knows and loves me more than anyone else. Hope more than a feeling for the moment, but a security of knowing my life is in HIS hands. I am encouraged to know that where there is pain, there is also comfort & peace. I am secure in knowing that nothing will come my way that is too big for HIM to handle. I am forgiven, and enabled to forgive others.

Thank you Lord for providing in the midst of it all.

This Day In History - 5 Years Ago

A miracle named Ryan entered the world. We had almost given up hope that we would have a child biologically. And yet God chose to bless us with this precious little boy.

Who knew that life could be so full of love, joy, and sleep deprivation. He has never been a sleeper. There is too much life to be lived. Never wanted to miss out on anything.

So now my "buddy" is 5. There is a whole new world waiting for you. You can do so many things for yourself. Adventure waits around every corners. You've waited so "impatiently" to turn 5 that you can hardly believe it is here.

My prayer for you today? That you would love God and serve him your whole life. That you will be filled with compassion and generosity. That your life will be marked by joy and contentment.
Enjoy every minute of 5. You are my favorite Ryan.

Love Mom & Dad

Need Ideas

I had an awesome time at Kuckie's cabin this weekend. I'll post all about it once I download the pictures and have a few moments.

But until then, I need ideas for inexpensive party/dinner food. I have both sides of the family coming over for Ryan's birthday and am tired of the standard taco bar, hamburger/hotdogs, or bbq beef sandwiches.

HELP!

Time To Play

Girls weekend - here I come.
I plan on eating - lots.
Laughing till I almost pee my pants - lots.
Scrapbooking - lots (I hope).
Wiping anyone's nose but my own - nope.
Cutting anyone else's food up - nope.
Hustling kids out the door late - nope.
Having a good time with the girls - Absolutely.
Catching up with a former roommate - yup.

Praying for good weather and great memories.

So much to do

How is it that the "to do list" never gets any shorter? Why is it that when you actually have a break in sight, that it requires so much work to get there?

My cup runneth over for sure... with blessings, laughter, correction opportunities, laundry, dishes, things to do, and more things to do than there will ever be time for.

Took Ryan for his first dentist appointment. It went really well and now he is completely into caring for his teeth. That's a good thing, just time consuming.

Girl time coming up with weekend, which I am completely excited about, but I'm afraid by time I get to friday, all I'm going to want to do is sleep. Isn't that the way that it always goes?

Made awesome loaded baked potato soup this week. Here's hoping I can recreate it, cuz my husband is already asking for more. I don't necessarily cook by recipe or measure, but a little of this and that, by taste. It really frustrates Andy when he really likes something and I can never repeat. Guess I'll have to keep trying.

I'd better get a couple hours of sleep before the drama of tomorrow starts.

Brown Sugar #63

So my home dye job turned out okay. I've had blondish hair for so long that it just looks so different to see it all darker. However, the more I wash it the more red it is becoming. Seems to be just how my hair deals with store bought hair dye. It's just hair. Can change it later if I want.

It was a slow lazy week. Ryan is most anxious for his birthday to come. So he offered that it was bunny's birthday. Bunny is his tattered, torn, repaired, and discolored favorite friend. Bunny was a dollar store purchase attached to a baby shower present and has always been his favorite. So why not have a birthday party for bunny. Leftover carrot cupcakes and a candle and wa-la, it's a party. Now the boys fight over which stuffed animal is having a birthday. May have started something here...
Valentine's Day came and went. We celebrated several days with class party, heart pancakes with heart strawberries/sprinkles/whipped cream for breakfast, special candy treats, and a couple of V'day books too.

Actually enjoyed an early dinner out with Andy on Saturday at one of our favorite restaurants. Thank goodness for gift cards or it would have been expensive!

It's a new week full of potential. I've got lots to do this week before my girls weekend coming up. All girl time with no responsibilities. Sounds heavenly. Just have to get there.

Saving $

So, we continue to look at ways to cut costs and save money for Andy to go to school and be out of work for 4 months... Getting creative, but I hope that our measures don't come back to bite us in the butt.

* I'm gonna color my own hair tonight instead of having it done. The last time I colored from a box was in college and it was SUPPOSE to be strawberry blonde and I ended up bright auburn. I'm hoping "Brown Sugar #63" works out better. Still need to get it cut. Maybe colored if things go seriously wrong.

* Our vacation. We were suppose to have one this year. It's been a long time since we had a real family vacation with moving, building a house, and moving again... Now with Andy's career change, not happening again this year. HOWEVER, in a rare work moment, Andy has to go install some equipment near Chicago. So, Andy will do the install on a Friday, and we'll go along with him. We are going to priceline a hotel, pack some meals, and make a weekend out of it.

* Valentine's Day - what is that again? oh yeah, that romantic holiday that Hallmark created ;) Trying to use a gift certificate we have and swap childcare with my brother. Still trying to get the schedule to work out. I'm making cards for the boys and recycling candy from the cupboard.

* Ryan's birthday - My big guy is almost 5. This is suppose to be his first "friends" party. I'm finding all sorts of free downloads for Rescue Heroes, and free activities for the kids to do. I have coupons for Little Ceasar's meal deals and found a pinata on clearance to recover. Waiting for Valentine candy to go on clearance next week. Borrowing big cupcake tin from a friend to make our own cakes. Gifts will be much simpler and smaller. Friends are helping out by recycling some of their toys.

* No out to eat budget, clothing, or home improvement for a couple of months.

Trying to have a good attitude about all the slim downs, but heck we are doing this willingly and there are thousands of people without jobs going through far worse. Finding that so much of this isn't even a burden, just is. But boy do I miss a quick fix dinner (pizza, rotisserie chicken, etc) after a long day. Just consider it more of an adventure.

Feeling Lazy

I spent most of yesterday afternoon preparing our taxes. Can't wait for the lovely refund to come our way. Would love to be irresponsible with it. Buy a couch, a SLR digital camera, take a vacation, get my car detailed, a maid deep clean my house, get a pedicure & massage, etc

However, that's not going to happen. We're reserving 7% to take care of small projects and the rest into savings to help cover Andy going back to school and not working. We won't know for at least another month if he gets in or not, but we are in ultra thrift mode anyways.

So, since I'm not going to be financially irresponsible, I'm gonna meet this week being unorganized. My own little form of type-A rebellion. I have no menu planned, I did not do the laundry, I let the kiddos watch cartoons in my bed this morning while I snoozed a little longer, ignoring the dishes and messes and taking the kiddos out this morning.

Woo-hoo, living free in the land of responsibility.

A Mood

I'm in a grumpy mood today. The kids have been sick and whinny. Not sick enough to lay down and rest, but sick enough to be discontent about everything. They have bickered and fought over everything for days - even who got to pick up which toy.The boys aren't the cause of my bad mood, but they sure know how to accelerate it.

Very excited that I have a crop night at church tonight. Not only do I get to go out tonight (alone) but it's church so my hubby can argue with that ;)

So hoping for a better day and evening to make it threw another weekend. I'm hoping to finish sorting stuff in the basement this weekend and get it cleaned out. We've been here almost a year. I guess it's time to get that taken care of. Still patches of dry wall dust that mess with my allergies to get out of my house. We'll clean in out in time for the dry-waller to come back for the warranty work in the stairs. We'll start over again.

I need to focus on all the good things of the week - great Bible study, week of good nutritious meals, that I haven't caught what my boys have, for good friends and perspective.

Note to Self: Drop the attitude and get on with life. God has been good.

Routine

As much as I hate getting into a rut, I'm one who does well with some sort of routine/structure - just not so much that it becomes suffocating.

I finally feel like I'm starting to fall into a groove for 2009 (a month in) with fitting in work, Andy's work out time, staying kinda up on house stuff, kids, church, and getting back into the kitchen. I know this means that something will happen soon and throw the whole thing off and I'll be back to square 1 or -1. But for now I'll enjoy the balance.

I love to cook and bake, experimenting with something new, creating new concoctions. I've been making menus to encourage making new dishes, and help curb impulse buying at the grocery store (has helped some... I'm so weak sometimes) and cut more costs...

So I thought I'd share what's on tap for this week:

Pepper Steak & Noodles
Taco salad
Stuffed shells with sausage
Herb roasted pork loin & potatoes (frozen)
Homemade pizza
Beef Stroganoff with rice (double batch to freeze)
Carrot Cake
Pumpkin Apple muffins

Throw in some leftovers & chicken nuggets/mac & cheese and we'll be eating good in the neighborhood. I made a batch of grandma's beef & barley soup and man was it good!! Enough to freeze for another time as well. Now on to more soups. I love the flavor & comfort of soup in the depths of winter. Plus it always makes enough for at least 2-3 meals. Score!

Just made my own latte with my Italian coffee percolator (gift from friends in Italy) and am off to get some work down while quiet prevails. Have a good week.

SuperBowl Highlights

So, our Superbowl party wasn't exactly what we planned. With sick boys on the mend - Andy headed out and the boys and I had out own little celebration. Nachos, spinach-artichoke dip, & pop. So most of it was for me... Spinach and artichokes negate the cheese and sour cream right?

When Kurt Warner got the Walter Payton community service award before the game, my boys cheered that he won the game. That should have clued me in on the rest of the evening.

As hard as I work to teach my boys about football, they just aren't that in to it - yet. I will not give up. One redeeming part of the evening is that Budweiser had lots of "horse" commercials in the first quarter so the boys dug out their horses and re-enacted the commercials. That just made me laugh.

God bless whoever created DVR. I actually got to see many parts of the game. It was finished long before I got to the end, but that is okay. Congrats Big Ben on your victory. Kurt, you played a great game and you are one class act.

Can't believe tomorrow is Monday already. Didn't even seem like I got a weekend. Just a few things on tap for this week
- Finish listing eBay items that I started this weekend
- Get our taxes done
- Clean my floors
- Get the playdoh out of my rug
- Make several batches of soup to freeze. (grandma's yummy beef & barley soup, mexican rice soup, & potato soup)
- Freelance billing
- 9632+ other things...

Have a great week.